No More Than I Can Handle

Proverbs 10:22

2011-02-06T14:59:00.000-08:00

It is the blessing of the Lord that makes rich,

and He adds no sorrow to it.

I've had an incredible peace lately. Same old stress, same old issues to deal with. I just feel that this is the year that God will show me he handles it all and (the most important part) that I will let Him! So often we make our lives that much harder by struggling against Him and what we know to be true. It's like swimming against the current and then being surprised that it took you five times longer to cover the same distance you would have easily covered if you just worked with what was around you, instead of against it. Unfortunately that means I still have to make the decisions about what to do for the 8yo for school next year (continue where he is, or move him- not sure the pressure of a full time gifted program does him any good) and where to send the 5yo for Kindergarten (would love to send him to the Catholic school he goes to PreK at, but $6K a year for Kindergarten????!!). But I just feel like it's in His hands- no matter what, He's got my back.

Hoopdad and I lately have felt that from day one of our move here to FL (when the now 5yo walked over the edge into the pool) things have been going wrong left and right. Some heartaches have been bigger, some smaller, definitely feel like there's more stress and frustration. Part of that's what comes with having kids that aren't all little any longer. Part of that comes from just being so far from those we've loved our whole lives. It's not all bad, I don't want to make it seem like that. There are lots of good things too- he is reading the Bible now, which is good. I'm not a "Bible thumper" someone who feels like they live closer to God than others. Far from it. I just think that often we are given the knowledge of God as children, we're brought to Him, and then as we become adults we sort of forget all we were told. He becomes yet another person you take for granted- the family member you see on holidays but don't really know. So when we, as adults, recognize that there's this relationship we've ignored for a while it's a good thing.

Speaking of family, another good thing about being here is we both know how much of a gift it is to have family close by. I'll take 'em, nuts and all! I so miss just seeing my family on a weekday just because.

What else... well, I've found it easier to just talk with God. Not just the "Oh God, please let this work out" kind of talk. Give give give. I need, want, would like. That's what prayer can easily become. Really, He would rather here "I'm hurting", "help me to serve you" and "thank you" more often. Sometimes my own kids can feel like they just want to take and take from me and it's never enough and instead of finding out how to work with me to get something they need or want, they just expect me to give it to them or do it for them. Wow, how often do we do that with God?!

There are lots of good things about our journey here. I've always thought, and I've had friends tell me they believed so too, that this job down here fell into our lap for a reason. The move just "worked out", so it had to have been where we were meant to be.

But, if God's blessing has no sorrow added to it, maybe all the pain and grief and constant uphill battles we've been feeling are an indication that maybe this job and move wasn't God's blessing. Sometimes, the things that come to you are not what God wanted for you, but He uses them to give you lessons. He uses them to bring us closer to Him.

Where that all leaves me I have no idea. I'm just trying to stay within that peaceful feeling.

What we have here, is a failure to communicate.

2010-11-14T20:25:00.000-08:00

Who doesn't love Cool Hand Luke?

I've been absent for a year. Funny thing about this blog about our lives, is that our lives tend to keep us busy!

Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

Homeschool was an interesting, exhausting adventure. Christmas in CT was great! There was so much snow- it was just absolutely perfect for the kids. Josh broke up with his long time girlfriend, has a new girlfriend. Rae broke up with her boyfriend, has a new boyfriend now. First Communion. Confirmation. Our first high school graduation!!! Yes- Experimental Child is now a college student- and will be turning 18 this week. We moved, further south a bit. Kids are in a different school now. Brother Bear is now in preschool. And for the first time in a long time we are diaper free!!

All caught up now? Well, there's more. The 16yo is now licensed- so we have 2 teens sharing one car. For a while anyways. In a while longer we won't have that car anymore and will likely replace it with something else. I'm starting the process of going back to school. It's exciting and scary all at the same time. I'm going back to be a nurse. And one of my middles has been diagnosed with ADHD so that is weighing very heavily on my family right now and is presenting a whole new set of waters for us to navigate.

So yeah, I've been just a little bit busy.

Still rushing by....

2009-10-29T21:06:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what it is lately, but I feel like I am on a carnival ride and can't get off.
Experimental Child got his SAT scores back. He did great, with the exception of math. It's always the math that gives him troubles.

15yo is on crutches. Day one of softball conditioning and we got a phone call to pick her up from the field. Since this is not the first, or even second, third, fourth or fifth time she's had this injury we weren't completely surprised. She is being seen by a sports medicine focused orthopedic. The diagnosis is she has a bruised meniscus (it tried to tear, but didn't) and something is up with her LCL. So we're starting physical therapy and will hopefully see some improvement- enough to get back into softball.

My 10yo has decided on taking orchestra over band or chorus. She will be playing the cello. I want to know when she will be able to play Pachelbel's Canon or Bach's Cello Suite No. 1 in G major or something equally as moving.

The 7yo is now being homeschooled. Did I mention that already? I could not let him go through the year labeled and belittled. He's 7 for crying out loud- he can't possibly prove to an adult who should know better than to label and judge a kid "from day one" that he is a spectacular example of a child. So it's him and I for the year.

The littles- well, the 2yo took off her diaper tonight, put her shorts back on, and then pooped in them. I think we may venture into potty training now. The 3yo- God I love that age. Three is my absolute favorite age: big enough to want independence, yet small enough to still want mommy.

Another birthday- mine- has come and gone. I am officially closer to 40 than 30 now.

Hoopdad has no decisions on the pending job offer, although they have said they would throw in a sizable amount to cover moving expenses. But, it's the kids- the moving, changing schools, how that impacts them, how that impacts college applications and state residency for tuition determination, etc. The person Hoopdad has been talking to at the company is aware of our situation, but needs to know if we want to proceed further at this point or not (apparently, I thought we were waiting for the job offer in writing, but they were actually waiting for Hoopdad to send in the authorization to run the background check before making the offer). All of this is muddled by the fact that my parents really need some help. Dad isn't working, has some medical issues that have become bothersome enough that even he can't ignore them and push through it anymore.They could use some help with financial things since dad isn't working. Trying to make this decision is like trying to see to the bottom of a mud pit.

Halloween costumes have been procured- we have Batman, Hermione Granger, a clown and a giraffe. I will be the coolest mom on the block I am sure since we are giving out glow in the dark bracelets for Trick or Treat (and lollipops- but those aren't so cool). Have I mentioned before how I dislike Halloween? For the past couple of years I have tried- in vain- to get my kids to forgo the tradition. I have offered to buy them each an obscene amount of candy in lieu of a costume and having to take them door to door (even though Hoopdad does that part). Economically speaking, it's a win-win. But no...they want to actually experience the joy of making me spend $$ on costumes which they will wear for 2-3 hours tops just to get far less candy than they would have if they took me up on the offer. In other words- they want to be kids.

Because I'm in the Mood...

2009-10-21T21:42:00.000-07:00

All pictures are from Pixdaus.com.

Rushing by...

2009-10-21T07:53:00.000-07:00

"Put God first in your life and you will have more time."

I never have enough time. And I hate rushing. So it's something for me to think about.

Things are chaotic as usual. The job offer will be coming- we flip flop on what to do about that and I'm still praying. Experimental Child just returned from Homecoming Weekend in CT. I need to press him to start choosing colleges soon and start the applications. 15yo is down for the count with yet another knee injury - on day one of softball conditioning. We have an appointment with an orthopedic this afternoon, and will hopefully get some more options or answers soon. It seems cosmically unfair that this athletic kid who loves playing sports can't because as soon as she tries her bad knee fails on her. 7yo is doing well with homeschooling- that's a new adventure for us. I've discovered something very interesting about our 10yo. When she is ranting and yelling and very argumentative there is an instant off switch. I found it...finally! I have to wrap my two arms around her to reach it, but it's there. Life with the littles is moving at their speed. I'm not sure if they're running to keep up, or if they are lapping us. My baby girl had a birthday last weekend. I can not believe she is two already. Sigh- where does the time go?

I was turned towards a new blog and have enjoyed reading the thoughts of a mom to ten kids.
She's also the author of "Family Feasts for $75 a Week". Finally- someone who knows that while I would love to experiment and create all sorts of delectable dishes for my family, the reality of my budget forces us to more boring and cheap stables more often than it doesn't! You can enter the contest here to win 3 copies of the book- one for you and two to give. But just remember me if you win. ;)

Wise Words

2009-10-07T13:24:00.000-07:00

A Passport for Life

by Regina Brett, 90 years old
of The Palin Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
When in doubt, just take the next small step.
Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
Pay off your credit cards every month.
You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
It's It's ok to get angry with God. He can take it.
Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
It's OK to let your children see you cry.
Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
Whatever doesn't kill you really, does make you stronger.
It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take NO for an answer.
Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
Over prepare, and then go with the flow.
Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
The most important sex organ is the brain.
No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
Always choose life.
Forgive everyone everything.
What other people think of you is none of your business.
Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
Believe in miracles.
God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now
Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
Your children get only one childhood.
All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
The best is yet to come.
No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
Yield.
Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves

Free Disney Park Pass

2009-10-06T18:41:00.000-07:00

I came across this on the web and had to share. Starting in January 2010, if you volunteer with one of the sponsoring organizations you get a free pass to a Disney theme park for a day. They are calling it Give a Day Get a Day. Check it out.

Walk by Faith

2009-09-29T08:47:00.000-07:00

Homecoming weekend was this past weekend. Both of the oldest kids went. I think it's a pretty big deal that Experimental Child went, and not only to the dance but to a party afterwards and to the football game before. That's huge, because he's not a very social person to begin with but also because he's been hesitant to do much socializing at all since we moved here a year and a half ago. My daughter's boyfriend came down for the weekend- he happens to be Experimental Child's freshman year football camp roommate and a good friend. The three musketeers.

Children never fully realize the sacrifices their parents make for them. At least not until they are adults, and even then even though they may understand they may never know about them. Hoopdad has an opportunity to move us all back north. The financials would stink- the cost of moving, getting into a new rental home, etc. However, I'm sure we would figure it all out. The job offer hasn't been made, but there's a good chance it could be- the company is waiting for budgets to be approved first. Formalities. Here's the thing- I think we have to pass up the opportunity, for now, and hope it comes around again in the near future.

Experimental Child is in his Senior year and, as I pointed out, is finally feeling comfortable and coming out of his shell. He's also the one who has entertained ideas in the past like moving back north and living with his grandparents. When I casually brought up the option of moving though, he was not happy. Can you blame him? It's Senior year; he has lots of changes ahead of him. Who faced with that wouldn't want things to stay "normal" while they can?

Even though I would love (to the nth degree) to be nearer to family, to act on that and uproot him again seems selfish and feels wrong. When he was one and a half we moved him to PA. Then back to CT again just before he turned three. That was a good move. Then when he was in 2nd grade we moved to a different town and he switched schools. Two years later we bought our house, in a different town, and he switched schools again. When he was in 8th grade, we switched him to private school- that was a good change. Then when he was a Sophomore we moved down here to FL. I just can't rationalize uprooting him...again. The adjustment of living here has been hard- harder on some than others. I just keep reminding myself there is a reason we are here. I may not know what it is, but I have to believe that there is a plan and a purpose. Maybe the reason Experimental Child is getting comfortable and growing now- of all times- is a clue that whatever the reason or purpose is, we're not done here.

There is a song by Jeremy Camp that I keep singing in my head. There's no other way for me to think about this.

Jeremy Camp- Walk by Faith video

Well I will walk by faith

Even when I cannot see

Well because this broken road

Prepares Your will for me

Chic on the cheap!

2009-09-18T08:15:00.000-07:00

I like things to be clean.

But I have 6 kids.

If things can at least smell nice it's a small comfort. I think I'll be giving this a try.

I Guess I Know What He's Getting for Christmas

2009-09-14T07:44:00.000-07:00

When we were first married, we lived in Manchester, CT. Not the nice, bucolic, nearly Glastonbury town line side. We lived across the street from a chop shop. We were only there for a year before we moved to PA. But while we were there, we never had any crime problems.

Now that we are in FL, in a fairly affluent area of a small city, we've had two problems within six months. I want to grab the punky little rich kid who broke into our vehicle and ask him who the hell is he to be going into my car?! Hubby's sunglasses, iPod, old useless AmEx card, and a few cd's also gone. And yes- I say punky little rich kid because these thieves are selective.

There was another break a few doors down from us. The woman happens to work at my son's school. So when I brought him into school late, I explained it was because we were talking to the Sheriff and that's when she said she was also a victim. Her husband's car was broken into- but they took only his sunglasses, despite the fact that his camera was sitting right there on the seat. So if this was in fact kids from a low income area of town, they would take the camera. Anything is usable and pawn-able after all. But they didn't. This is "mommy and daddy don't give me enough allowance to party the way I want so I'm going to be selective in what I take" kind of thievery.

Still skeptical and need more evidence: they took the REM cd but left the Simon and Garfunkel. Brats.

My Job Really Sucks Sometimes

2009-09-10T08:45:00.000-07:00

When the pressure mounts and the clock ticks and I wonder what to do, which decision to make. When I feel like I "should" be able to handle something, but the reality is I just may crack and burn out and mess it up big time. When I wonder if choosing one way or another will make my child a better person in the end, or if it will just create a foundation for future problems and lead me to say "if only I". When I realize it's not life and death, but I want the best life and future I can give to my child but I just can't find my crystal ball to know which way to go. Yeah...that's when I think my job really sucks sometimes.

"That" Age

2009-09-03T17:26:00.000-07:00

Brother Bear and Carebear are 21 months apart. They are at "that" age that Experimental Child and my 15yo (who are 18 months apart) were at that I remember fondly. How can I forget the chocolate syrup going up the carpeted steps as they carried it to me to open, or the adorable way they mastered the concept of team work as one of them cracked the eggs on the kitchen floor while the other did the scrambling. Let's not forget the creativity they used when they acted out the Disney movie "Pocahontas" and stabbed holes in the back of the couch.

Maybe "fondly" isn't the right word.

The past two weeks have been nothing other than what I can best describe as mutiny. For example:

Finger painting on the table with yogurt while I cook grilled cheese for lunch
Coloring on the wall with marker while I think they are using the craft project I bought in the clearance bin at Michael's for them to color on
Taking out both Spiderman and A Christmas Story editions of Monopoly and splaying them on the living room floor
The toilet incident

The toilet. Need I say more?

It seems as if the two littles have discovered they work great as a team.

It will not be pretty if I lose my lattes

2009-09-01T08:22:00.000-07:00

This is my Starbucks Gold Card. It is obviously well loved. At first I thought I couldn't possibly justify spending $25 on a card just to save 10% on purchases. The average savings for me is $0.42. Do the math- it paid for itself within a couple months. I have no idea how it got this way- it started with the plastic film peeling on the back corner, most likely from being in my back pocket. It actually came completely off and I have super glued it back on. It still works- amazingly. But I fear that may not last long because it's coming off- again. I may try clear packing tape next. It does spark interesting reactions and facial expressions on the part of the folks who work at Starbucks when I hand it to them. The worst part is- it's not registered, because the numbers had worn off before I could get around to registering it. Lesson learned. As I type, I am on hold with Starbucks to see if they will exchange it. I will be totally impressed if they do.

********************************************************************************

Thanks to Greg at Starbucks I will soon hold a shiny new card in my hand that isn't crumbling apart!
He took some info from me that was on my latest receipt and they can apparently extract my card number in their system from that. They are sending me a replacement card, along with a couple of drink coupons to make up for the fact that I will be without a discount card until that card gets here. I am impressed.

Straight out of an episode of Dirty Jobs

2009-08-31T09:14:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning I awoke to "Mom, the toilets not working right because there is water coming out".
Ughh...not what I want to hear at any point, especially prior to 8am. And definitely especially since I knew that "someone" (although they were all 'not me') took the plunger outside last week for who knows what. I'm sure it made a cool play weapon, or javelin, or something. But it got left outside and the guy who mows our lawn must be blind because he didn't see the bright yellow handle and mowed it over. The plunger was ripped in two while the handle was made into nice chunky yellow plastic mulch in the yard.

So Most Wonderful Husband in the World goes to get the plumbing snake. I told him I had a sneaking suspicion the missing towel hooks were down there. We had 4 of those 3M brand plastic hooks stuck to the wall, and at some point last week 3 of them disappeared. Brother Bear said Carebear threw them in the potty, but I was sure he was wrong. Was- now at 8am I am sure he was right.

He retrieves a matchbox car, a nail polish bottle and small Thomas the Tank Engine train. No joke.

Yet it still won't flush. Life being what it is, he actually had a crisis to handle at work and had to go into the office yesterday. So later in the afternoon, I had to work at the toilet some more, to no avail. I had two options- call a plumber or buy a power auger. Neither of which I had the money for at the moment. So a third option presented itself- the shop vac.

So I trepidatiously sucked the water out of the toilet, and as the water level dropped really low I held my breath and said "please work". I imagined something going horribly wrong and a plumber having to come out anyways and I would surely be the laugh of the month or the inspiration for the $50 prize for funniest story in some Plumber's Monthly magazine. Well- let me tell you how horrible the house smelled. I know I know- sewer gasses and all, what else did I expect? I knew it would smell but I didn't expect it to permeate the whole house instantly. Experimental Child immediately ran around and sprayed air freshner and lit a few candles. I told him to open a few windows. Brother Bear was gagging- I told him to go outside. Of course, so was I but I couldn't go anywhere. When it appeared the toilet was draining and flushing properly I was faced with a new problem. What the HECK do I do with the contents of the shop vac??? I carefully poured them back down the toilet making sure anything heavy stayed at the bottom of the vac so I didn't just re-clog the toilet. That all done- all that was left to do was mop the floor with bleach, wash the towels that had been used to sop up the overflowing water and oh yeah, wash out the shop vac in the front yard with a hose and hope. to. God. the neighbors didn't notice the smell coming from it. And of course- take a shower. Because even though I don't think I got dirty, boy did I feel it.

Oh- and the 3 plastic towel hooks. Still missing.